What to do When You See Women Getting Harassed in Public

Ruth Burrowes
4 min readSep 19, 2023
Photo by RDNE Stock project: https://www.pexels.com/photo/couple-having-a-misunderstanding-5617718/

Next week I will begin ageing out of the male gaze in earnest. Yes, that’s right — I’m celebrating my 30th birthday. And while I appreciate the assurances of several men in my life that my beauty is timeless, I am actually looking forward to it.

The main reason: I’m hoping it’ll mean I stop getting harassed in public.

Take yesterday, for example.

It had been a long and stressful day. I went for a walk (in broad daylight) to clear my head.

My face was sober, downcast. Bitch-like, in its restful state.

I happened to accidentally lock eyes with a passerby, his face looking every bit as weary as mine. I offered a meek smile (in case he thought I was glaring at him.) A sort of two-strangers-briefly-acknowledging-each-other’s-suffering-so-that-for-an-instant- they-both-feel-less-alone kind of smile.

Unfortunately, he misinterpreted it as a sign of interest.

He then proceeded to change directions and follow me for 6 blocks badgering me to let him buy me a drink, tell him where I lived, and give out my personal contact information.

The more I resisted, the more he persisted.

While this man was not overly threatening, it was a little disconcerting to be…

Ruth Burrowes
Ruth Burrowes

Written by Ruth Burrowes

Sharing adventures and advice in dating, love, & relationships.

Responses (21)

What are your thoughts?

Oh Honey...COME ON?!! AGING OUT at 30?!! WTH?!! I'm in my mid 50s & still get whistles, stares, requests for my number & swooning dates. NO one wants to be harassed, intimidated or commoditized, but good grief, don't put yourself on ice before the engines have even started to cool!!

afraid of coming off as rude.

Yes, God forbid we should come off as being rude while someone else is being rude to us. We've been well trained.

Ruth, I am sorry this happened to you. Growing up in India, I have had my fair share of being harassed by men. They called it "eve-teasing" back then. It happened again in the NYC subway and a lady came to my rescue. This is not different that the…...